Goals that Suck

I've made a goal this year to take care of myself. So that means getting my toes fixed, getting that root canal, and getting a cavity fixed.

Today I had a pity party for myself. Mostly for my toe. I have had ingrown toenails my whole life thanks to my awesome toe genes. I have heard about the procedure to fix them and always been horrified at the thought of a needle going in my foot. NO THANK YOU. But we're going to Italy in 3 weeks and I just couldn't really handle the pain any longer. So I make a last minute appointment this morning to see if I can get my toe fixed. I go in to the doctor (with both kids) thinking that he'll just look at it and tell me when he can schedule the procedure and I'll come back later. Nope.

He says, oh ya I can cut off your nail right now. And he pulls out the needles and I'm like, "uh like right now, right now?!" I usually do okay with doctors and needles because I prepare mentally beforehand. But this time, no mental preparation whatsoever. And to make matters worse I hadn't really eaten breakfast and I tend to pass out when I don't eat and smell rubbing alcohol. So he blasts this super cold spray on my food that is suppose to help you not feel the shot, but no. It was almost worst then the shot. I thought my foot was going to break off from being frost bitten it was so gosh dang cold. And then he sticks a super long needle in me and I'm trying my hardest to be brave in front of my kids, who thankfully were too entertained with the ipad to notice my toe being tortured. Then he does another blast of cold with another needle. Paaaainful. And here's me, doing my breathing exercises like I'm in labor. It was a bit shameful and I kept thinking in my head, suck it up!

Then they leave me for a good bit while I try and calm myself down and mentally prepare myself for the actual ripping out of my toenail. (I'm sure you are loving all these details right?) They take forever and by they come back Benson is super sleepy, so I'm holding him as he falls asleep in my arms just as I'm about to be operated on. And did I mention that there was a medical student there? That's always fun. So as he is doing the procedure right in front of me, he is also explaining to the medical student what he is doing. Such as, "So right now I'm just cutting off the side of the nail, and then we'll burn the root with this chemical and I just like to make sure it's soft and feathered and bla, bla, bla." I really wished I had brought earplugs. I had turned my head the other way so I wouldn't see what he was doing, and then he says, "Do you want to see what I did?" And I looked. Big mistake.

To sum it up, I'm a little traumatized from the experience. It really doesn't hurt all that bad, and I'll be glad I did it in the long run, but man today was rough.  I hobbled home, carried sleeping Benson up 3 flights of stairs, tried to put him down, he woke up, felt sorry for myself because I have to elevate my foot for 12 hours and then stay off it for 2 days which, Ha! I have kids. And then cried a little bit and called my momma. Thankfully, she's been in town for a week and was able to come over for a couple of hours and take care of me. Nobody will ever take care of you as well as your mother. Sorry husband, but sometimes a girl just needs her mom. And to end the pity party I have a head cold and a sore throat, and Benson has a tooth coming in and is sick as well. I eventually have to go back in to get my other toe fixed...which might not ever happen after this experience. :( *Deep Breath* Okay, pity party over.